


A Gift

by Nebulash



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-01 23:42:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6541573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebulash/pseuds/Nebulash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ren is a crazy motherfucker that brings dead bodies as gifts to his crush because he thinks that’s an acceptable thing to do.</p><p>A response to the prompt : "Mini-Fic of awkward shy crush-y things?" on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Gift

**Author's Note:**

> Something I wrote for a sweet soul on tumblr who was kind enough to send me a prompt.

Ren has never fully understood how to communicate the way he feels to people. It’s difficult when you’ve constantly been able to perceive the feelings and thoughts of everyone around you, not to be able to communicate the thoughts and feelings that are your own. It’s something he struggles with on a daily basis and part of the reason why he fell so easily into his apprenticeship with Supreme Leader Snoke. He didn’t need to tell Snoke his thoughts and feelings, they were just understood automatically. Ren liked it that way.

The current predicament he found himself in was an unusual one at that -  something he had never experienced before coming aboard The Finalizer and working alongside General Hux. He was slowly forcing himself to accept that his feelings were transforming from their original negative hatred and competitiveness into something completely different. It was a confusing feeling that sat deep inside of him and whenever he found himself anticipating a meeting with Hux, there was always a strange low hum of anxiousness in his stomach. It was as if seeing Hux was in some strange way exciting and exhilarating.  Ren was often finding himself lost in thought as his mind would wander the halls of the Star Destroyer in hopes that he might pick up on a stray thought from the General as he busied himself with his duties.

Sometimes Ren actually manages to pick up on the things that flutter through Hux’s train of thought. He is usually busy with technical and logistical matters but occasionally, Ren will see something more personal - memories as he passes by someone he is familiar with, thoughts about different scenarios that he finds remind him of a past experience. Sometimes this feedback is strong enough for Ren to understand completely what had happened in Hux’s memory, but they were also sometimes fragmented and broken with details that Ren could not reach.

Ren has unfortunately not seen Hux today, both of their duties have pushed them to different sections of the ship, and Ren even sensed Hux leave entirely on a short trip to Starkiller Base below. He was still able to sense the General from that distance, but it was quite easy to tell that he was more distant than usual. Ren hated when that happened. He found comfort in knowing Hux was here on The Finalizer with him, in the same place, together in this galaxy.

That trip had been earlier. Hux has been back for a while now and Ren can tell, though there is something slightly alarming about the General’s current state of mind. He feels anxious and Ren feels it too. It’s not the good sort of anxious either, the type that Ren had found himself slowly growing used to. This was panicked, negative, and Ren simply needed to get to the bottom of it as quickly as possible. He enters his room, takes a seat on his bed and focuses mind, body and soul on Hux’s current thought process. Hux will likely feel him inside of his head, but at this point he’s so frazzled by whatever has occurred, the General doesn’t actually put up much resistance to Ren as he slips gently into his mind.

_I hate it when you do this, when you don’t ask first_

_You were asking with your worry_

He pushes on, forcing himself into the memory of whatever has thrown Hux so off balance. Ren anticipates the memory occurring somewhere on The Finalizer or Starkiller base, but to his surprise, he’s pulled even deeper through the currents of Hux’s consciousness, all the way back to when Hux was a boy. He’s young, small, perhaps not even in his teens, and there’s a larger boy identically clad in a uniform shoving him into a wall, calling him names, and shouting cruel things. Ren cannot make out what the boy is saying but he can feel the pain and anguish his words cause Hux. It’s enough to send ripples of fury down his spine.

Ren knows he can’t intervene here, this is just a memory, but that doesn’t stop him from attempting to reach out and touch Hux. When he does this, the boy succeeds where Ren fails, smacking him in the face with the back of his hand, then kneeing him in the stomach as he collapses into a pile on the floor.   Ren’s gaze now shifts to the offending boy. It’s far too painful to see Hux so small and vulnerable, his face tucked sadly into his knees as he defensively curls into a ball. Ren has seen this horrible boy before. Ren remembers him, but not like this. He has seen him many times actually, as an adult walking the halls of The Finalizer and eating in the mess hall. There were many men and women aboard the ship, but being in close proximity meant repeatedly seeing certain faces. This was a face Ren recognized.

He pulls himself from the memory and can feel it leaves Hux with a bit of a residing headache. Ren feels the other’s anger and frustration at this, but does his best to ignore it. Ren has a much more important task on his mind now.

This boy from Hux’s memories - no,  the man as he was now, had hurt Hux in the past. That was absolutely unacceptable. Anyone that ever harmed Hux simply didn’t deserve to take another breath and Ren was determined to make sure of that. Hux must have seen this man at some point in the day and whether or not he had given Hux any reason to feel anxious was beside the point. The memory of what he had done was crystal clear, and Ren wanted to smear the walls with his blood.

Scanning the ship once over, then twice, he locates the man’s whereabouts. He’s a lower ranked officer that isn’t particularly special and has no outstanding achievements. From this, Ren can surmise that he likely won’t be missed. He stands with his mission in mind and heads in the direction where he had sensed this horrid creature was dwelling. His footsteps are heavy on the metallic floor of the ship but he doesn’t care who hears or sees him. He doesn’t care if this is something that is highly forbidden and inappropriate in The First Order rulebook. He’s Kylo fucking Ren.

Hux was precious, devoted, intelligent, and loyal. He didn’t cause unnecessary harm to people for mere fun. There was always a greater goal behind any of Hux’s means, and Ren held a certain amount of respect for that. Ren too, had been bullied when he was young and the sight of Hux so small, curled up in defeat, did nothing but fuel the flame of anger that was already burning inside of him.  

In contrast to Hux, Ren did hurt people for mere fun at times, just to air out his frustrations. He felt very little remorse for whoever he was lashing out at. In moments like this he was a black hole, void of any mercy or understanding, filled with nothing but the need to destroy and extinguish.  

As he enters the man’s room by forcing the door open, Ren finds that he is pathetically sleeping. Since he is of no importance, the man shares a room with other members of the Order and Ren has to assure none of the other occupants in the room will wake by temporarily rendering them all unconscious with the force. He then wakes his victim up by brutally shoving him out of his bed and onto the cold floor. The man wakes up startled and Ren feels the wave of fear and shock wash through his thought process as his assailant extends his lightsaber, piercing him just to the right of his heart, intentionally missing to prolong his demise. Ren takes this chance to lean in and speak gravely into the dying man’s ear. His voice is steady and low as it slides from his lips and through the voice modulator.

“This is for the boy at the Academy. The one with the red hair. The one you hurt”

Ren forcefully pushes the lightsaber a bit further, not wanting to give him a chance to speak. A choked sob escapes from the man’s mouth as the blades of the crossguard burn at his skin through the thin shirt he s wearing. As he does this, Ren mentally jabs Hux’s memory straight into the man’s mind. He needs to remember, he needs to know why Kylo Ren has brought death to him in such a way.

_This is for hurting him. This is for Hux._

With that, he retracts the blade of his lightsaber. The man crumples to the floor, blood pouring slowly from his lips as he coughs out a few pitiful last breaths. Ren kicks him, just as he had done to Hux in the memory. He’s gone now, Ren knows this. He can always feel the absence of life when it leaves the body to rejoin with the Force. It’s become a familiar feeling for him over the years. He almost likes it, the power he holds in his hands when destroying the existence of another.

He finds the man’s identification badges and drags him out of the room over his shoulder. He’ll burn the body later and add it to the collections of ashes in his room, but right now this is a gift for Hux.

There are few people in the hallways, and none are likely to question Kylo Ren about anything at all, let alone when he has a dead man slung over his shoulder. The Order’s indoctrination and training system leaves little room for loyalty, and as he scans the minds of the few people that do pass him by, he’s happy to find that they don’t particularly care.

Hux is in his office. Ren is used to finding him here, but this is the first time he’s ever visited the General without particular direction from Snoke. This wasn’t official Order business. This was simply revenge. He slides the door open, walks into Hux’s office as the General looks up a bit distraught at the surprising intrusion. “Ren, what are you–?”

Ren drops the body of the man to the floor, using his foot to roll him over and expose who he is to Hux. The General merely looks down in shock. He’s not perturbed by the sight of death and blood, but he instantly recognizes who this is. His eyes dart from the dead body to Ren, who is now removing his helmet. A flurry of anxiety surges through Hux, and Ren picks up on it, this is the first time The General has seen him without the mask.  

His face is slightly flushed in embarrassment as he holds the helmet under his arm, and his eyes remain glued to the floor. Hux notes how much younger and softer his features are than he had imagined. The General really isn’t sure what he had imagined in the first place, but the man standing before him was anything but it. “Ren….what is this?”

“I brought him to you. As a gift. For hurting you. I saw it” His words are disjointed and shaky and his cheeks grow a bit more pink with each word. It’s only now that he’s realizing just how weak and uneasy being near Hux like this has made him. The anxiety pools in his stomach and bubbles as if it’s boiling.

Hux looks again at his fallen enemy on the floor, walking out from behind his desk to inspect him closely. He doesn’t look upset at all, to Ren’s delight.

“I hate it when you get inside my head.”

Ren’s shoulders fall a bit, and he continues his attempt to stare a hole through the floor. Hux walks closer, around the body and up next to Ren, his blue eyes scanning Ren’s strange features. Ren has to resist every urge to prevent himself from scanning Hux’s mind for his opinions but is able to restrain himself. Now is not the time, let him tell you how he feels himself.

“I don’t like it when you make a mess like this either.” Hux reaches up and tucks a lock of Ren’s hair behind his ear. His touch against Ren’s skin burns as hot as the anxiety coursing through him.

“But he did hurt me. Quite often actually. This is a nice gift.”

Ren finally meets Hux’s gaze, slightly surprised and very relieved at the General’s acceptance.

“He knew. Why he was dying. When I killed him. I made sure he knew.”

Hux feels relieved, and that feeling pours into Ren as well. He’s not sure if he means to absorb that from his General, but it’s natural and welcome.  

The corner of Hux’s pink lips curve upward into a small smile. It’s very rare for Ren to see him like this, and it sends that good kind of anxiousness soaring through him. Hux leans up, closing the distance between them to place a very chaste kiss on Ren’s cheek, over one of the beauty marks that reside there.  He pulls away and steps back, quickly returning to his seat behind his desk. He’s a busy man, and Ren knows he probably doesn’t have much time for things like this.

“Please clean this mess up off my floor. You’ve done well”

Ren nods, putting his helmet back on quickly to hide how hot and red his face must be. He places the man’s ID badge on Hux’s desk, a much cleaner trophy for him to keep, then scoops the corpse up over his shoulder and goes to leave.

“Ren?” He stops, turns and looks at his General, who might just have a blush across his cheeks as well, not that Ren can see through his helmet.

“Thank you.”

Ren nods, steps through the door and out into the corridor. He goes straight to the incinerator. His cheek is still warm where Hux had pressed his lips against it just moments ago.

Ren shuts his eyes as the flames consume the body focusing back to Hux to send him one final message for the night cycle.

_I won’t let anyone else hurt you now. And I’ll make the ones that did pay._

Hux responds quickly, as if he expected Ren to appear in his mind and is excited to respond. Ren hopes so, sincerely desires that Hux feels as excited as he feels when in the other’s presence.

_I know. Thank you again. You are the true gift Ren._


End file.
